Worst ever Notts team: Part one

Last updated : 25 May 2004 By Paul Smith
You know how the famous chant goes.... “I had a wheelbarrow… the wheel fell off”. Regularly voiced from the z –blockers, the chant has seen many sights at Meadow Lane.

The origin of the great song remains a huge debate. The basic jist of it, it seems, is the implication of Notts never being able to get going, there's always an obstacle in the way. Hence the wheel falling off. But how much is this to do with the players that, throughout the years have been selected for the luckless Pies?

Many a time has the ‘All-time best Notts eleven’ been argued amongst the terraces and in pre-match pubs such as the Trent Navigation and Meadow Club. But I doubt that the worst players to grace the Notts colours have been mentioned too often. Maybe the fans wince too much when thinking of some of the utter rubbish managers have bought to the Oldest League club in the World?

Either way, here's my suggestion for the worst Xl. Wince as the memories come flooding back...

Arphexad- Gets a mention
The goalkeeping situation caused me some grief. Boy, have we had some bad 'uns. From, recently, Frenchman Pegguy Arphexad and as long ago as Seamus Mcdonagh, they've all caused me pain.

Pegguy, in just a month, cost us a fair few points. Arriving on the back of a great run that had seen Notts climb out of the bottom four, he goes and literally throws the relegation fight away with his misclaim of a corner at bottom club Wycombe. Then, he dawdled when he should have been collecting the ball in the game against Chesterfield. Another crucial two points dropped.

The turning point in our revival under Mills you could say down the drain? Indeed, as the joke goes, he couldn’t catch a bus. But it’s Larry Lloyd's intervention that gets the accolade of the number one jersey. Mr.McDonagh. Old shamus mistakes cost us dearly in the 1984 season, and ultimately cost Lloyd his job. Completely useless is a phrase poignant in my mind.

That isn’t a phrase that you would consider with the right back in my worst 11. Indeed, at times this player would be considered for the best 11. Nicky Fenton steps forward. As a centre half he looked destined for great things – until this season maybe. But when pushed out just one slot onto the right hand side, his inability cost us many a time. He would be beaten for pace almost any day, and the amount of goals given away because of his weakness and inexperience in that area. Controversial choice it may be, especially as many feel we should've kept him on, but one I'll stick by, despite the support he gets of much of the County faithful.

The left-back position has been somewhat of a problem in recent years. Other than the latter half of the famous great escape season, where Kevin Nicholson proved an inspired choice as a left back under Billy Dearden, this position has been largely vacated by out of position players.

Nicky Fenton- Worst ever right back?
But looking back down the years sees that maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. ‘Big’ Bob Worthington of the 1970 Division 4 Championship side gets in as my left back. A little harsh, the side he played in enjoyed much success that season, but he was a shocking performer. Brother of Leicester City legend, Frank, there the similarity ends. Bob was a player who could be best remembered for his no nonsense approach. He had a good old hoofit style. Infact, one particular memory of that year is that of when the playing staff came out before a game and kicked several balls into the crowd in the Bob Worthington style! Good for camaraderie maybe, but how much money did that cost? Big Bob just kept on doing it mind - during the game… or was that Nicky Law?!

Notts County have been blessed in recent years with some great centre halves. The two players in my team however, do not fit into that category.

Colin Calderwood came to the lane with great interest. After successful spells at Spurs and our neighbours Nottingham Forest, a lot was expected of the Scottish International. That is the reason he gets into this infamous side. What a let down! Now retired from the game, and letting Mansfield Town have a free passage into the 2nd Division, Calderwood will not be remembered as a great at the Lane. He was, to say the least, pretty poor.

As was Sammy Chapman, at least at the Lane. Once again, with strong Forest connections, he failed to deliver any form in the slightest like he did at the City Ground. It was like Margaret Thatcher joining the Miners Union, or The Pope becoming a protestant. To be fair, he never stood a chance. One vivid memory is of him having an on-field bust up with fellow centre half, Brian Stubbs. Last seen in pantomime as the back end of a horse. Need I say anymore?

That's it for the first half of my team. In the second part, coming up on NCM very shortly, I will complete my worst ever Notts team, by naming the midfieldes and strikers.


Do you agree with Paul's choices so far in the worst ever Notts team? Who would be in your Worst Xl? Let him know your views by e-mailing him at orville_paul@hotmail.com .