Notts in a Nutshell - Pre-Season

Last updated : 22 December 2017 By Jacob Daniel

NOTTS IN A NUTSHELL - PRE-SEASON

This summer has changed everything. Normally, pre-season at Meadow Lane is something of a desperate experience, defined by chaos and catastrophe, as the latest incumbent of the Meadow Lane managerial death seat builds a squad lacking in rhyme or reason. Chris Kiwomya, though, seems to have done things differently - building a side with patience, logic and, crucially, with the construction of a deathly wall of silence around Meadow Lane. Rumours this summer have been as out of place as a penguin in the oven, which may seem frustrating, but in the end has probably been for the best. There was even a distinct lack of paw-bashing on NCM, with no bloodied fingers from thrashing at keyboards as Ray Trew promised the latest big name striker that Notts would be signing. Except, he did - only this time, the signing of Danny Haynes was signed, sealed and delivered within hours. The times, they really are a-changin'.

Not that everything seemed particularly rosy during the first six weeks of pre-season, as Meadow Lane seemed to exist entirely in a vacuum, with literally nothing happening. The most exciting arrival for weeks and weeks being the converted cannabis lights that the club hope will make the pitch slightly less of an entirely random obstacle to football come October. Alan Judge did leave almost within seconds of the final whistle against Coventry, seeking out the "stability" that he criticised Notts for lacking by returning to his former club Blackburn Rovers, who have developed a well-earned reputation in football for patient and sensible ownership. Otherwise, the futures of Jeff Hughes, Joss Labadie, Alan Sheehan and Yoann Arquin remained entirely uncertain for weeks, although Notts' array of talented youngsters all signed their new deals swiftly enough. Eventually, Hughes decided to move on, joining Fleetwood Town allegedly due to its proximity to his wife's family, but more likely down to the obscene sums of money that Andy Pilley is literally hurling at people to try and persuade them to move to the Fylde coast. Joss Labadie and Alan Sheehan eventually signed their new deals, though, whilst Yoann Arquin agreed to his "in principle" despite being away at the Gold Cup with Martinique.

Finally, the silence at Meadow Lane was broken by two signings, albeit not the ones that Notts fans would really have been hoping for. Young midfielder Malcolm Melvin joined following his release by Aston Villa, whilst winger Andy Haworth also signed a short-term deal following his release by Rochdale. Haworth's inability to establish himself at either Bury or Falkirk in the past provided worries to Notts fans, and the six-month deal given to Haworth seemed to betray a lack of faith amongst the management also. Thankfully a more promising signing wasn't far away, as Notts sealed a deal for right back Mustapha Dumbuya on a free transfer from Crawley Town - the attacking full back having impressed three times against the Magpies last season and promising to be a strong replacement for the injury-ravaged Julian Kelly. This led us into the first pre-season friendly, which NCM settled down to watch on a grainy internet stream live from St. George's Park, as Notts lined up against Romanian champions Steaua Bucharest. It proved to be an entirely fruitless exercise, however, as the much more match-fit and technically proficient Eastern Europeans refused to give Notts a touch of their ball and strolled to a 2-0 victory. More intriguing were the three trialists fielded by Kiwomya - midfielders Mark Fotheringham and Dean Parrett, formerly of Norwich City and Tottenham Hotspur respectively, and former Macclesfield Town forward Matthew Barnes-Homer, as Notts just don't have enough forwards with ability but questionable attitudes and work rates. The latter seemed to do his chances little good with a performance that looked as though he was attempting to play in particularly aggressive quicksand.

Kiwomya, however, chose to take all three on the club's pre-season tour of Finland, perhaps down to the spare plane seats as much as anything else, and all three featured in Notts' first two friendlies in Scandinavia against lower division sides Palloseura Kemi Kings and Tervarit. During the former match NCM had to a double-take as the ball bizarrely arrived by parachute - and then again as the aforementioned Andy Haworth neatly scored two goals after Dean Leacock's powerful early heady in Notts' comfortable 3-1 win. The Tervarit game was then the real chance for the trialists to impress and one that they took, as both Parrett and Barnes-Homer struck in a 4-1 victory that also saw fine goals from youthful forward duo Tyrell Waite and Romello Nangle, the latter smashing home from twenty five yards with his left foot. With Notts' brains being frazzled by the perpetual Finnish daylight, the tour was finished with a 2-0 victory over a youthful JJK Jyvaskala side, as a Francois Zoko penalty and delightful Enoch Showunmi chip (yes, really) were enough to see off the Premier Division side.

Back on English soil, then, and Notts' pre-season preparations really began to be ramped up as Ray Trew took to the NCM messageboard to promise of a striker to be signed within hours. The signing of Danny Haynes, then, should prove to be one of the most important Notts have made in years, with the pacey former Charlton Athletic and Ipswich Town man too good for League One if he can just stay fit - a description also given to fellow new boy David Bell, a wide player from Coventry City. With the squad taking shape it was time for the big friendly against Galtasaray at Meadow Lane, but sadly NCM was on holiday in Spain trying to stop ceremonial caterpillars (look them up) from holding us hostage in a tent, so the night that Drogba and Sneijder played at Meadow Lane will forever be one of those myths to us - like Tommy Lawton scoring a header from forty yards. We fully expect to be in a dark corner of the Trent Navigation in ten years, sat on the knee of an old man smoking a cigar, trying to imagine Gary Liddle shackling the big Ivorian as the smoke of a fine Cuban fills the air. For the record, Notts lost 2-1, taking the lead through an own goal before being pegged back by an own goal of their own and a fine last minute winner by Sneijder. 

Less mythical will be the game against Rayo Vallecano a week later, but NCM was still in Spain so can offer little more than the fact that the game ended 2-2, with Danny Haynes and Alan Sheehan squabbling over the first goal as Yoann Arquin claimed the second all by himself with a fine volley from the edge of the box. Particularly impressive in these two games was Scotsman Mark Fotheringham, impressive enough indeed for Kiwomya to offer the trialist a one-year contract that the former Norwich captain was happy to sign, even offering some mental soundbites about playing for Notts in the Premiership. Febian Spiess, the talented young 'keeper often linked with the country's biggest clubs, also put pen to paper - signing a new long-term deal at the club ahead of the final friendly against Ipswich Town. This proved to be particularly entertaining as a makeshift Notts side fell 2-0 and 3-1 behind before a fine second half performance was capped by Yoann Arquin brilliantly slaloming through the entire Ipswich side before smashing home. A mighty fine way to finish off pre-season ahead of the opening day trip to Bramall Lane.

Indeed, this has been a summer of what NCM would like to describe as 'restrained optimism' - with Kiwomya looking to have built a side with quality but perhaps lacking in depth. A lot also seems to be relying on some uncontrollable variables - the hamstrings of David Bell and the mood of Yoann Arquin, in particular. Considering some of the premonitions of doom that came at the end of last season, however, Notts fans should be pretty happy with Kiwomya, Jones and Watson's summer work. If there is one things that still needs sorting out, however, it is the midfield, with Fotheringham, Labadie and Boucaud not really being a good enough set of options in the centre. With Dean Parrett impressing again against Ipswich it may be him that his asked to fill the void, whilst Celtic midfielder Jackson Irvine has also been linked with a loan move. It looks likely that no new signing will be arriving ahead of the opening game on Friday, however, as Notts look to begin the campaign with a positive result infront of the cameras. See you there.