Shit!

Last updated : 22 March 2003 By

County Ground
After Northampton last Tuesday, we thought it couldn’t get a lot worse. Well, I’m afraid to say it just has.

I have reached a new low supporting Notts; I have never witnessed the Magpies go down by 5 goals in the league before today. I can’t even think of a word that perfectly describes today’s performance, in fact, I wouldn’t even call it a performance in the second half.

I am going to have to watch what words I use in this report because I want to keep some of the more severe ones for future matches, if Notts decide that they can play worse than the debacle I watched today.

Notts took to the field without Ian Baraclough or Ian Richardson, both of whom presumably failed their fitness tests. Paul Bolland, however, did make it to the starting line up along with youngster Willis Francis.

The Magic Roundabout
With the first obstacle of safely navigating around the "Magic Roundabout" out of the way (and I can assure you it isn’t as easy as it looks!) we got to the County Ground in glorious, warm sunshine. "Now all we need is a performance to match the day", I could be heard saying before kick-off. Somehow you know though that as soon as the referee blows for kick-off everything that you have enjoyed so far about the day becomes irrelevant, and your mood for the rest of the day is determined by what happens in the next 90 minutes of football.

I am pretty shocked and angry after that match, and I’m sure all other Notts fans feel the same way. Every time you think it just cant get any worse, Notts turn in another woeful display against a side that they are more than capable of picking up points against.

You know it’s bad when a team of professional footballers can’t even do the basic things, such as passing to team-mates and defending, right.

Granted, the first half was alright but we had a few good chances and failed to put any away.

Paul Bolland had an early effort saved by Swindon keeper Bart Griemink then Paul Heffernan had his attempt blocked by the home

Had Notts' best chance
keeper.

Mark Stallard had by far Notts’ best chance of the first half. He was through on Town’s goal and his shot beat Griemink but rebounded off the upright. Had Notts scored one of those opportunities then maybe, just maybe, it might have been a different outcome.

Swindon created a lot of openings for themselves but many of their shots flew wide of Mildenhall’s goal.

The Robins took the lead just before half time, when Sam Parkin fired home after being left in acres of space in Notts’ 18-yard-box. That was a warning of what was to come from Swindon in the second half.

HALF TIME: 1-0

Nick Fenton was replaced by Danny Stone in the break after picking up a dead leg late in the first half.

Notts have been getting progressively worse over the last few games, but in the second half the Magpies hit rock bottom.

Was I mentioned earlier, the simple things just went out the window from half time onwards. Somehow Swindon, who were playing on exactly the same piece of grass with the same footwear managed to

Andy Gurney
pass to team-mates, attack dangerously and even score 4 more goals to cap a humiliating day off for the 300 or so travelling fans.

Notts were being shoved off the ball in just about every position and Swindon got their second goal on 59 minutes, Danny Invincible put in a cross for Andy Gurney to volley home. If the match wasn’t already over at 1-0 (which I think it was) then it certainly was at 2-0.

Notts seemed to have no spark going forward and created no chances of note in the second period.

The Robins were 3-0 up minutes later; Sam Parkin got his second goal of the afternoon after Alan Reeves had put him through on the Notts goal.

The Magpies were deteriorating badly at this stage and even a pass that managed to find a player in black and white was a bonus, but Notts possession didn’t last very long before Swindon were on the attack again.

David Duke made it four on 69 minutes as he calmly chipped the advancing Mildenhall after a poor corner form Darren Caskey allowed Swindon to go on the counter attack. It was more than embarrassing from Notts fans by this time.

I wanted to believe that in the remaining 20 minutes Notts wouldn’t concede another but as the ‘Pies were "Defending worse than a blummin’ pub team", to quote Billy Dearden, it was unlikely Town would finish with just the 4.

Sam Parkin got his second hatrick of the season
The 5th, and I’m glad to say final, goal came with a minute of the 90 left to play. Sam Parkin completed his hatrick as he turned in the box and then shot into the corner of the net. Some Notts fans couldn’t help but sarcastically cheer as the ball crossed the line because you either had to laugh or you would have cried, it was that bad.

FULL TIME: 5-0

It could have been 7 or 8 if those wayward shot in the first half had found the target.

That was Notts worst league defeat for nearly 11 years. On the 19th September 1992 Notts fell 6-0 at Millwall. Ironically, just a few weeks later Notts went to the County Ground, Swindon, and lost 5-1 on the 17th October.