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ONWARDS!!! (BUT POSSIBILY NOT UPWARDS)

Last updated : 09 June 2002 By

Greetings readers!

You all know the score, you probably all called in sick, and, forget the Jubilee - it was the party of the year. Well done to the whole England Camp out there – we salute you!

It almost brings a tear to my eye...
Well, you can’t have escaped the result and the fickle English media’s reaction. So what praise can I possibly bestow upon the England team and Mr.Beckham which hasn’t been done-to-death already by the nation’s press? None probably, which is why I am going to explain why this fantastic footballing victory troubles me.

The Germans have been beaten, sorry, I meant massacred, trounced and humiliated (I could go on). Now the Argentine’s have joined the club and experienced the sharp end of the Three Lion’s vengeful wrath.

You see, I can’t help but feel that after defeating the ‘mighty’ Argentines there is a grim future ahead for English supporters. Why? Because we have avenged all our defeats, settled all our grudges and we are now on top of the world. Sadly it can’t last forever.

So what now? Short of Afghanistan or Iraq qualifying for the next World

and will we ever tire of this one?
Cup we have no outstanding politically induced scores to settle on the football field. There really is nothing left for us to prove to our arch footballing nemesis’, and ourselves. Sure, it would be nice to get one over on Sweden after 34 years, but we don’t hate them, do we? We have a Swedish manager for heaven’s sake, not forgetting that we owe our qualification for Euro 2000 to our Scandinavian in-laws.

I also admit it would be great to beat teams such as France, Italy and Brazil and of course Scotland - but will we be able to match the sheer euphoria of laying to rest over 60 years of combined misery caused by The Hun and The Argies? No chance! The best we can do now is just win the World Cup to put the icing on the Nationwide Sponsored footballing cake created over the past year or so, and wait for the pain to start again.

T

The boys done good!
he truth is that it doesn’t get much better than this. Think about the next time we face Argentina or Germany, of course we will still hate them, but the anticipation of revenge will be replaced by the fear of defeat and the potential for another 36 years of hurt and torment. It is sadly inevitable that we will lose to one of these teams again.

The simple fact of the matter is that in order to regain the sheer passion the came with the 5-1 ‘Munich Mauling’ or the 1-0 ‘Sapporo Showdown’, firstly, we must lose again. For maximum effect, this has to occur more than once and over a long period of time, and the more suffering we endure, the sweeter the final retribution becomes. As anyone who was watching the game on Friday, or was around to witness the drunken aftermath will tell you, this is undeniably true.

So, ideally we must first win this World Cup, and why indeed shouldn’t we? Then see how long we can go without defeat by either of the two nations in question, and when the dreaded day comes, we can begin the whole cycle over again. Sad, but true. Get the drinks in and the holidays booked for 2038 – it could be a big one!