Originally it is thought that Steve Thompson refused to be interviewed by Colin Slater when it was revealed the script had been leaked to Notts County Mad on Friday evening.
ST: Hey Colin - You can't fault the players, they give 100% everytime. Nah, Nah Colin, crap is not the word I'd use....did you see the way White chested that ball down and played a slide rule pass....I know it went the wrong way Colin and their forward scored...but you can't buy the class of White in this division.
Colin, there's 8 games to go...we wont lose another 9 games all season....If I offered the board 18th place at the start of the season, they'd have snapped my hand off!
Look Col, this club nearly went into the Conference last year and I'm here to drag it down....
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ST: Do I? Err yeah! Remember Col that when I came here I only had 3 excuses...
CS: You mean players Steve?
ST: Come on Colin...you've seen em play!
CS Steve, who stood out for you?
ST: Well Col, I have to say again that the lad Ross……you wouldn't believe the amount of money that kid has saved this club on laundry…and today again means we don't have to wash his kit!
CS: Steve, that one error cost you today………….
ST: Listen Col, we all make mistakes…sometimes you just have to hold your hands up and admit to it.
CS: Do you think the Chairman has his hands in his pockets then Steve?
ST: He said there's no money available Col.
CS: That's not what I meant Steve…………
ST: Isn't it err, oh I get it, ha ha ha - cheap shot Col!
CS: At least it was a shot Steve.
Back to the game Steve, you seemed to lack the cutting edge…
ST: Col, you know what it's like - you fumble around the box for ages but never get any penetration....It's like taking you're girlfriend home…all foreplay but you can't score.
CS: Quite!
What about the ref today Steve, seem to get everything right?
ST: Col, you're having a laugh……he was poor, in fact, if he was on fire I wouldn't pis….err I'd dial 998
CS: What about the pitch Steve - seems a bit worse for wear…
ST: You're not wrong Colin - too much sand, it's like Skegness beach - reckon we should have Donkeys on it instead - although the club must already have some according to the supporters behind me…what do they mean Col?
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CS: I suppose we'd all like to see a bit more football on the ground…
ST: Col, if I can borrow a quote from the great Clough - "if God meant football to be played on the deck - why did he make Jason Lee so tall"
We've played 'em off the park & but for an individual error, (Saul/Kevin/Whitey et al is in tears in there) we've gifted 'em a goals but we didn't deserve that.
CS: Are you happy with the length of your contract?
ST: What are you trying to say Col? Rome wasn't built in a day. When I took over there were just 2 senior professionals and you know there is an honest bunch of lads in there and they don't know when they are beaten.
You've seen the match Colin, their manager says that we're the best team they've played all season!
CS: So you wouldn't blame the ref?
ST: I just went in there and said quite honestly ref you're cheating us. And I tell you all the time we are trying to play football, we've got a good bunch of lads and we use wingers and we get the ball down and we play football.
CS: But do they want to be here?
ST: Give it a rest Col, we've got players here that all want to play for Notts County - we huffed and we puffed but there was no end product today. Luck just wasn't with us.
CS: What do you propose for the rest of the season?
ST: For me this season is about bringing stability back to this club, bringing supporters back to the club, and bringing smiles onto the supporter's faces. It's a three year plan. These fans have had so much to put up with and it's my job to make Notts County successful again. You've got to remember last season we were one game from the conference.
CS: So to sum up Steve…
ST: Well where do I start Col, bad pitch, poor conditions, the pitch would of been better suited to rugby, the ref should of gained control of the match, was a good hard fought game, we kept battling until the end, we were denied a free-kick from a pass back and things like that change a game, we only had 3 players when I arrived at this club and It's been well documented that we have used the least players in the league.
Credits
Producer: Drapes
Chief writer: Jack_the_lad
Script: Jack_the_lad, Pies4u, Cookie2, Capital Magpie, JustLikeJuve, The_Pie_Man and Drapes.
No Steve Thompson's were harmed in the making of this script.